Posted by: The Grrl In the Moon | May 18, 2010


My youngest is ADHD(Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), she is also ODD(Oppositional Defiant Disorder).

First and foremost, these are real disorders. Second, yes, my youngest has them. This is not up for debate. I have read myself sick on these subjects. I have seen all sides.

The side that she’s just an active, stubborn kid, that’s normal for her age. It’s an allergy to something, that’s why she’s that way. Just eating right and letting her burn off steam will fix it. Doctor’s are just diagnosing everyone that, the teachers just don’t want to deal with her.

When Freya started kindergarten, I knew she would have trouble. Since the day she announced herself to the world, she hasn’t stopped. As an infant, she rarely napped, at 18 months, she stopped napping all together. She never stopped talking and now has nearly perfect speech at 6. She once chased our next door neighbour on his bike, in circles around our lawn, for an hour. Then was mad when he tired of the game and left. Her daycare provider, nick named her The Queen of Sheba. She never backs down from a perceived argument, no matter who it is.

Mr. D and I saw trouble really start at the end of her last year of preschool. When the other kids could start to stay still for prolonged periods of time, Freya couldn’t. When asked to do something for the teachers, she would argue with them about it. When she got focused on a task, you could not pull her away without a meltdown. As of to date, since the beginning of the school year, Freya has seen the principal 15 times, been asked to leave 10 times. I have taken her out of the school, literally kicking and screaming.

What you don’t know, and most people don’t. Is that Freya has some serious privilege at school. The Principal is good friends with her Grandma; Freya’s Grandma is well loved and respected in the School District, being a Principal herself. Freya’s teacher loves her, and works with her constantly, trying out cognitive therapy on her own time, after discussing it with a psychologist friend of hers.

After trying the diets, supplements, and taking her off cow’s milk, it helped a little, not enough. In the end we have gone the route of medication; there are side affects we are not happy with. She has lost her appetite, and has lost weight, not enough yet to concern the doctor, but I don’t see a 6 year old losing weight as a good thing. Also when she is not on the medication, the behaviour seems worse then when she was.

I am not entirely happy, but Freya is doing better in school. For the most part she still acts like she did, only in a toned down manner, an “acceptable” manner. I’m not sure what will happen, but I love her, and she is amazing and smart. I still have fears because, like the sun that is spectacular and bright, the sun can cast a dark shadow, and her darks side is dark. But she still shines bright, and I want to fight for her acceptance into the world, because this is something to accept. Her relationships will always be strained, and some days when your 6 year old just can’t focus to get dressed. Even I lose my cool and yell. I do a lot of walking away, to come back later when my temper is under control.

But this family will love her and support her, and be there for her. I believe you know from a young age if your child has this. I used to describe it as Freya being just a little bit more, then other kids her age. Like they packed too much personality into her, like over filling a garbage bag, cracks and holes start and personality spills out. But as much as it can be hard, I get a child that is creative, and bright, and larger then life itself.

This is a real thing, and it is a difficult thing, but the more we understand, the more we can see these kids shine like the stars they are.


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