I am angry. I am angry at my lack of action.
Yesterday, I am sitting in the van, outside of a store called Pennington’s, for those unfamiliar with this store, it is a clothing store for people sized 14+. I am parked, playing with my cel, with the window cracked for fresh air. I am waiting for Jane to get off of work, because this is were she works, and her shift is over in a few minutes.
A man is standing a few feet from my window; with him is a little girl, with short wild blond hair, approximately 4 years old. I don’t hear the girl, the little voice lost in wind, but I hear the man’s response, and my blood boils and my stomach curls.
Man, “You want to go in the fat woman store?”
Little girl, “….”
Man, “It’s a store for fat women, see there it says 14+”
Second man comes from behind, they notice I am staring at them, glaring now, they I’m sure notice my window is open.
Second man is tall and intimidating looking, I’m sure had I met him with out the shit flying out of his mouth, I wouldn’t have been so scared of him.
Second man, “I’m sure shopping till you drop happens in five minutes there!”
First man laughs
Little girl tilts her head at the second man.
Second man says, “Because their fat! And they probably can’t do much!”
The lovely trio moves away to the patio set of the coffee shop next door. As I visualize daggers from my eyes at them, wanting to scream and yell, and tell them to get their heads out of their asses.
What I wanted to do was to grab that little girl and tell her, that weight means nothing, that her daddy is wrong, and that I hope she aims to be healthy at whatever her size ends up. And part of me thought to myself, if girls struggle from eating disorders when coming from a healthy emotional and physical family. How could this girl escape when at 4ish, she is told that fat women are basically useless. That fat starts at size 14. I hope she has a better role model somewhere, and powers me on to teach my daughters and their friends, and be the role model I hope that little girl finds.
I wish I had been able to stand up, now I just need to find a way to fight a little harder for all the little girls, and boys out there that are fed this poison from baby hood.